Those of you who know me know that I’ve been doing the P90-X fitness program for the last four months or so. Like many Lindy Hoppers, Nick Williams introduced me to the pain and agony of this program, but honestly, it’s done wonders for me. There are some things, though, that you come to accept once you’ve been doing it for that long.
- You can explain where the P90-X acronym comes from.
- You can recite Tony Horton quotes on the spot. Not only that, but you’ve got his voice down, too. Here are some gems:
- “Making Gumby look like the Tin Man.”
- “Don’t smash your face!”
- “German potato soup (in a sappy german accent).”
- “Do your best and… forget the rest!”
- You wonder where you can get a copy of “Downward Dog Magazine”.
- You know that there’s exactly a one minute interval where Tony manages to remain quiet throughout the entire set of videos.
- You know the assistants (on and off video) and have given them nicknames:
- Pam, The Blam.
- Phil, the Smart-ass.
- Dreya “thanks for your painful contributions to P90-X” Webber.
- Karen, the Pot-stirrer.
- Sophia, the Chiclet teeth girl.
- The Horton Triplets: Tony, Bobby and Joe.
- You’ve made a made a drinking game for whenever…
- … Tony hits on Dreya.
- … Katie moans in agony.
- … someone does huggers and shakers.
- … someone makes an “X” symbol with their arms.
- … Tony says he’s “done chattin’.”
- You know that banana-boat is more than a tanning oil brand; it’s something much more painful.
- You get withdrawals when you miss a workout.
- You find yourself excited when finding other P90-X users and talk for hours about it, forgetting the dance altogether. You’ve become a walking salesman for it.
- You’ve bookmarked beachbody.com, even though you’ve never visited the site.
- You equate the “modified” moves as the loser moves.
*sigh*, I’ve thought too long about this.